Sneaky brews

[iBrau]

Got a sneaky brew on tonight while herself was out with the girls.
She hates the smell of both hops and malt! so it was a bit of a mission to clear the smell out of the house. I did a kit hack of an english mild with just a 10 minute boil of goldings. Bagged and binned every ingredient as it was used and opened every window in the house when I was finished. It's paid off anyway, as I'm sitting here now watching the airlock and as far as she knows I haven't even brewed :-)

Has anyone else done a stealthy 'ninja brew' ? Any tips for keeping it under the radar?
I think I'll be doing this again - it avoids all the negotiations I normally have to go through!
- Vince

[RichC]

Well done iBrau, another foolproof method is giving the missus Rohypnol in a glass of your finest craft beer after dinner. You can even get her to help with some if the easy parts and shell never even know you brewed!!!

[Garry]

You need towels everywhere to soak up any spillages. You might not notice a few drops on the floor but she will! DON'T use the white towels! And wash them after you. It's CSI shít 

How's the oatmeal cookie ale going? Had you any sneaky sup yet?

[LordEoin]

Fool her by saying that you're out on a night of brassers and heroine, but in reality just sneak off to a cave and brew there.

[LordEoin]

Tell her that you hate the small of HER, and the occasional smell of hops and malt is a fair compromise

[iBrau]

LOL. Thanks for those helpful suggestions Eoin, must give it a try!

I avoided doing lots of laundry and towel cleaning by covering the kitchen in newspaper to start with. Way easier to sort out afterwards, just ball 'em all up and stick in the bin - sorted. We get 3 free newspapers in the door every week so they're perfect for mopping up stuff.

Haven't followed up on that oatmeal ale yet. I've got the trial version of it here at home though - it's stronger and has less oats but it's tasty out. I'll bring in a few samples for Frans' brew day next weekend.

[mr hoppy]

You might not notice a few drops on the floor but she will!

So true.

[Blueshed]

get yourself a nice big RV and drive out to the desert or hills of Cork and do your brewing, worked out fine for Walter White and Jesse Pinkman 

[Cathal O D]

get yourself a nice big RV and drive out to the desert or hills of Cork and do your brewing, worked out fine for Walter White and Jesse Pinkman 

Not sure if it "worked out ok" for Walter and Jesse.....

[Blueshed]

get yourself a nice big RV and drive out to the desert or hills of Cork and do your brewing, worked out fine for Walter White and Jesse Pinkman 

Not sure if it "worked out ok" for Walter and Jesse.....

rather take my chances with the DEA, cartels and biker gangs than my pissed off wife after her kitchen is left a tiny bit dirty after a brew 

[Dunkel]

Have you ever thought of divorce? 

[johnrm]

Is this your first wife?

[mr hoppy]

Reminds me joeec5's posts on the first page of this thread. Do a sour mash at home and yer missus will be begging for those good old hop and malt smells instead!

wow am I in trouble..boiled this up today...omg..the entire apartment smells like sour milk/funky cheese...my wife hates me,,,she came home from work, gagged,ran in the bathroom, almost threw up, and turned around and went to my parents house. she comes home 2 hours later,im done brewing, boiled some cinn and cloves on the stove and lit some candles,,thought it was ok. took her out to dinner to make ammends,,come back smell is everywhere..it is now 1 am,,she cant sleep, still feels sick..i just got back from the store..spraying lysol, cleaned every floor with pinesol...took the clothes i was wearing and the two throw rugs that could have gotten drops of the sourmash on it and put them outside in a bag....wow,,i hope it didnt migrate upstairs to the landlords appartment. this is a pretty big apartment and its everywhere....windows are all open, fans in them. ahhhhhh

anyway,,the wort did smell and taste great, very berlinerweissish. good tartness...hit my target og right on. thanks for the help with that 

im assuming ive boiled away all of that smell, should i expect any foul smell during fermentation?

i went from so excited about brewing this to feeling like total crap because of my wifes scorn   
she knows nothing of brewing but her i told you sos are killing me on this one.

[BrewCity]

Tip #1: Marry a brewer.

As  a female brewer I find this whole thread hilarious... and maybe just a little bit sad. Who doesn't like the smell of malt?! Something wrong there.   

[LordEoin]

Tip #1: Marry a brewer.

As  a female brewer I find this whole thread hilarious... and maybe just a little bit sad. Who doesn't like the smell of malt?! Something wrong there.   

kill her and marry a brewer!