National Homebrew Club Ireland

General Discussions => Chit Chat => Topic started by: Will_D on November 29, 2012, 11:47:42 PM

Title: Crime Spanning Two Centuries traced to Malahide
Post by: Will_D on November 29, 2012, 11:47:42 PM
[size=14]Major theft reported in Malahide.[/size]

Gardai are currently investigating the theft of a very rare Russian Imperial Stout yeast strain.

The strain is believed to date back to the times of the Tszar Nicholaas II, Rasputin (aka. Ivan)  the Terrible (brewer) and Karl Farberge (eggssceptional brewmaster to the Imperial court)

History: It is believed that on a routine visit to Ireland Karl called in to the St James' Gate brewery of a well known stout brewer as usual to deliver half a dozen eggs, fresh from the Imperial court. Someone called Arthur (the big cheese of the operation) had a hankering for Imperial eggs.

For once Arthur had a brew worthy of such a distinguished  visitor. So he poured Karl a pint of plain. "Its's yer only Man" said Arthur, Karl hadn't a clue what he meant!

After he tasted the new brew he thought "Hmm not bad", but being Russian decided it could be stronger. After all in Russia even mother's milk is 3.8% abv".

Crime Number One: When Arthur popped out for a leak ( there were Welsh people working in the brewery ) Karl popped the remaining yeast cake from his glass into a Shinny new vial ( provided by a bloke called Shinny that he'd met in the Bull & Castle the night before ) for such thefts. Off he went back to the court where he started recreating a Stout worthy of his secret lover Alexandra.

Flash Foreword a few centuries and it was always believed that the secret strain that Karl had evolved for the Imperial court had disappeared and died with the murder of the Rommanovs by the Bolsheviks ( aka InBrew and Diasbrew ).

But NO WAY! An equally noble Polish family "somehow" obtained a culture of the highly prized strain. After much hard times involving several WW's and the even more traumatic moving to Swords in Ireland, a young descendant of said Polish family arrived in Swords, County Dublin. In his luggage was was a portable brewery and a yeast bank and in his heart was a desire to brew fantastic beers in North County Dublin ( Polish peoples cannot pronounce Fingal ).

He would show Arthur's descendant what his descendants could do!!

Time passes:

Crime Number Two: On a recent visit to a fellow home brewer in Malahide the Polish Master of Beers left behind a bottle of Imperial Russian Stout he had made for the impoverished, displaced Welshman to enjoy with his meagre supper.

The Welsh thief ( Gardai already have a suspect framed up for this ) could not believe how smooth and gorgeous this stout was. "No wonder Rasputin "The Terrible Brewer" committed suicide he could not satisfy the court" thought the Welshman.

This stout was brilliant thought this Taffy. So the sneaky Welshman has now started to culture this Imperial Strain in his ever so humble lab.

The End

All the best

Will (aka Taffy, sneaky Welshman etc)
Title: Re: Crime Spanning Two Centuries traced to Malahide
Post by: Spud395 on November 30, 2012, 07:41:51 AM
 ;D [smiley=thumbsup.gif] A beautiful story to go with the breakfast
Title: Re: Crime Spanning Two Centuries traced to Malahide
Post by: Jacob on November 30, 2012, 12:04:01 PM
Quote
The End

All the best

Will (aka Taffy, sneaky Welshman etc)
Glad u liked my stout :) Simple&humble US-05 did the trick :P
Title: Re: Crime Spanning Two Centuries traced to Malahide
Post by: Will_D on November 30, 2012, 02:17:31 PM
I still think its a cracker of a strain. What were the OG and FG you achieved?

Will
Title: Re: Crime Spanning Two Centuries traced to Malahide
Post by: Jacob on November 30, 2012, 02:56:21 PM
Will check it and post it from home.
Btw. it was imperial stout but not RIS :P

Edit: Here are the magic numbers :)

OG: 1.075
FG: 1.011
Title: Re: Crime Spanning Two Centuries traced to Malahide
Post by: Will_D on November 30, 2012, 07:54:34 PM
The more I use US-05 the more impressed I am!

Will
Title: Re: Crime Spanning Two Centuries traced to Malahide
Post by: Partridge9 on November 30, 2012, 11:24:12 PM
Great Tale ! Front page material in my book !
Title: Re: Crime Spanning Two Centuries traced to Malahide
Post by: Will_D on December 01, 2012, 03:19:07 PM
Maybe when the TOG fest is over run it as a pre-Christmas story?

Will