The NHC Christmas “Tale of the Ale”

In keeping with the festive time of year let’s have a tale, this one comes from a rather chatty Welshman and is loosely based on his dealings with a Polish brewer of some distinction…

Major theft reported in Malahide
Gardaí are currently investigating the theft of a very rare Russian Imperial Stout yeast strain. The strain is believed to date back to the times of the Tszar Nicholaas II, Rasputin (aka Ivan the Terrible brewer) and Karl Fabergé (eggssceptional brewmaster to the Imperial court).

History:
It is believed that on a routine visit to Ireland Karl Fabergé called in to the St James’ Gate brewery of a well known stout brewer as usual to deliver half a dozen eggs, fresh from the Imperial court. Someone in the brewery called Arthur (the big cheese of the operation) had a hankering for Imperial eggs.

After years of trying to brew a stout Arthur had a brew worthy of such a distinguished  visitor. So he poured Karl a pint of plain. “Its’s yer only Man” said Arthur. Karl hadn’t a clue what he meant!

After he tasted the new brew he thought “Hmm not bad”, but being Russian decided it could be stronger. After all in Russia even mother’s milk is 3.8% abv.

Crime Number One:
When Arthur popped out for a leak (there were Welsh people working in the brewery) Karl popped the remaining yeast cake from his glass into a Shiny new vial (provided by a bloke called Shiny that he’d met in the Bull & Castle the night before who was flogging said vials for a pittance) that proved ideal for such thefts. Off he went back to the court where he started recreating a Stout worthy of his secret lover Alexandra.

Time passes:
Flash Foreword a few centuries and it was always believed that the secret strain that Karl had evolved for the Imperial court had disappeared and died with the murder of the Romanovs by the Bolsheviks (aka In-Brew and Dia-brew).

But NO WAY! An equally noble Polish family “somehow” obtained a culture of the highly prized strain. After much hard times involving several world wars and the even more traumatic move to Ireland, a young descendant of said Polish family arrived in Swords, County Dublin. In his luggage was was a portable brewery and a yeast bank and in his heart was a desire to brew fantastic beers in North County Dublin (Polish peoples cannot pronounce Fingal). He would show Arthur’s descendant what his descendants could do!

More Time passes:
The National Homebrew Club of Ireland is formed to bring together like minded home brewers. Was this a good idea? Read on!

Crime Number Two:
On a recent visit to a fellow home brewer in Malahide the Polish Master of Beers left behind a bottle of Imperial Russian Stout he had made for the impoverished, displaced Welshman (who was still struggling in the depressed landscape that is Seabury) to enjoy with his meagre supper.

The Welsh thief (Gardaí already have a suspect framed up for this) could not believe how smooth and gorgeous this stout was. “No wonder Rasputin “The Terrible Brewer” committed suicide he could not satisfy the court” thought the Welshman.

This stout was brilliant thought this Taffy. So the sneaky Welshman has now started to culture this Imperial Strain in his ever so humble lab.

~The End~

Can I,  William Davis and rest of us here at the NHC

Wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

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